Dealing with a bully? Turn the tables with these 252 smart and hilarious roasts that hit back with wit, not fists.
These clever comebacks are designed to disarm bullies, boost your confidence, and keep the vibe light while showing you’re not one to mess with.
Perfect for school, social media, or any situation where a bully tries to throw shade, these roasts are sharp, funny, and empowering.
Use them wisely to stand tall, make ‘em laugh, and flip the script like a pro!
Note: Always prioritize safety. Use these roasts in lighthearted situations where verbal wit is appropriate, and avoid escalating conflicts that could lead to harm. If bullying is serious, seek help from a trusted adult or authority.
Smart and Hilarious Roasts
Witty and Quick Comebacks
- “Is your brain on vacation, or is this just your face’s default setting now?”
- “I’d argue with you, but I don’t think you’d understand your own comeback.”
- “Wow, your attitude’s louder than your outfit—and that’s saying something!”
- “I’d roast you harder, but I don’t want to burn your last brain cell.”
- “Is your ego writing checks your personality can’t cash?”
- “You’re like a Wi-Fi signal—just when I think we’re connected, you drop.”
- “I’d explain why you’re wrong, but I don’t have crayons handy.”
- “Your vibes are giving ‘discount villain’ energy.”
- “Did you borrow that attitude from a grumpy cat meme?”
- “I’d take you seriously, but I’m allergic to nonsense.”
- “Your comeback game is weaker than decaf coffee.”
- “Is your personality on backorder? ‘Cause it’s not showing up.”
- “I’d clap back, but I don’t want to wake up your brain.”
- “You’re like a bad TikTok—nobody asked for this.”
- “Your shade’s so weak, it needs SPF 100.”
- “I’d roast you, but you’re already overcooked.”
- “Did you practice that line in front of a mirror? It needs more work.”
- “Your confidence is inspiring—too bad it’s not contagious.”
- “I’d keep up with you, but I don’t run in circles.”
- “Is your brain buffering, or is this just your face’s loading screen?”
Savage but Classy Roasts
- “I’d say you’re one of a kind, but I’m pretty sure duplicates exist.”
- “Your attitude’s bigger than your vocabulary—impressive!”
- “I’d give you a comeback, but I don’t want to overload your system.”
- “You’re like a math problem—nobody wants to deal with you.”
- “I’d roast you more, but I don’t want to hurt your ego’s feelings.”
- “Your confidence is bold, but your logic is on mute.”
- “You’re like a pop quiz—annoying and nobody’s prepared for you.”
- “I’d argue, but I don’t speak ‘low battery’ fluently.”
- “Your shade’s so thin, I can see right through it.”
- “You’re like a bad sequel—nobody asked for a rerun.”
- “I’d take you seriously, but mirrors are hard to come by.”
- “Your vibe’s giving ‘error 404: personality not found.’”
- “I’d roast you harder, but I don’t want to break your fragile ego.”
- “You’re like a cloudy day—nobody’s thrilled you’re here.”
- “Your words are bold, but your brain’s on standby.”
- “I’d clap back, but I don’t want to startle your confidence.”
- “You’re like a bad playlist—skippable and repetitive.”
- “I’d argue, but I don’t debate with dial-up connections.”
- “Your attitude’s loud, but your point’s on silent.”
- “You’re like a broken pencil—pointless but still trying.”
Pop Culture-Inspired Roasts
- “You’re like a D-list villain in a Marvel movie—forgettable.”
- “Is your attitude from a reality show reject pile?”
- “You’re giving Thanos vibes, but with zero snap.”
- “I’d roast you, but even Darth Vader would feel bad.”
- “You’re like a TikTok trend—here today, irrelevant tomorrow.”
- “Your shade’s weaker than a Netflix reboot no one asked for.”
- “You’re like a Star Wars prequel—nobody’s impressed.”
- “Is your ego auditioning for a villain role in a B-movie?”
- “You’re giving Squid Game vibes, but you’d lose round one.”
- “Your comeback’s floppier than a canceled sitcom.”
- “You’re like a Marvel cameo—brief and overhyped.”
- “Is your attitude from the clearance bin at Hogwarts?”
- “You’re giving Grinch energy, but without the charm.”
- “Your shade’s weaker than a Muggle trying magic.”
- “You’re like a reboot of a classic—nobody needed this.”
- “Is your ego starring in its own low-budget sequel?”
- “You’re like a reality TV star—loud but no substance.”
- “Your vibe’s giving ‘rejected Avengers audition’ energy.”
- “You’re like a bad rom-com—predictable and cringe.”
- “Is your personality stuck in a 90s sitcom laugh track?”
Brainy and Clever Roasts
- “I’d debate you, but I don’t argue with single-digit IQs.”
- “Your logic’s so twisted, it needs a geometry tutor.”
- “I’d roast you, but your brain’s already in safe mode.”
- “Your shade’s so weak, it’s practically transparent.”
- “I’d explain why you’re wrong, but I’m not a miracle worker.”
- “Your ego’s writing equations your brain can’t solve.”
- “I’d clap back, but I don’t speak ‘404 error.’”
- “Your attitude’s bigger than your intellectual bandwidth.”
- “I’d roast you harder, but I don’t want to crash your system.”
- “Your words are bold, but your logic’s on dial-up.”
- “I’d argue, but I don’t debate with outdated software.”
- “Your shade’s so thin, it’s practically two-dimensional.”
- “I’d take you seriously, but your brain’s in airplane mode.”
- “Your ego’s running a marathon your wit can’t finish.”
- “I’d roast you, but your brain’s still loading.”
- “Your attitude’s loud, but your point’s in a coma.”
- “I’d clap back, but I don’t want to overload your circuits.”
- “Your shade’s weaker than a one-bar signal.”
- “I’d debate you, but your logic’s stuck in a loop.”
- “Your personality’s giving ‘under construction’ vibes.”
Playful and Lighthearted Roasts
- “Is your attitude sponsored by grumpy cat?”
- “I’d roast you, but I don’t want to hurt your ego’s feelings.”
- “You’re like a rainy day—nobody’s excited you’re here.”
- “Your shade’s so weak, it needs training wheels.”
- “I’d clap back, but I don’t want to scare your confidence.”
- “You’re like a bad joke—nobody’s laughing.”
- “Is your ego running on low battery or just bad vibes?”
- “Your attitude’s louder than my morning alarm.”
- “I’d roast you harder, but I’m keeping it chill.”
- “You’re like a cloudy sky—nobody’s thrilled.”
- “Your comeback’s weaker than my Wi-Fi at home.”
- “Is your personality stuck in a group chat no one reads?”
- “I’d argue, but I don’t speak ‘low effort.’”
- “Your shade’s so light, it’s practically pastel.”
- “You’re like a bad meme—nobody’s sharing.”
- “I’d roast you, but I don’t want to wake your ego.”
- “Your attitude’s giving ‘extra with no substance.’”
- “Is your brain on snooze, or is this just your face?”
- “Your shade’s weaker than my phone’s battery.”
- “I’d clap back, but I don’t want to startle your vibe.”
Sassy and Confident Roasts
- “Oh, honey, your shade’s weaker than my coffee.”
- “I’d roast you, but you’re already a hot mess.”
- “Your ego’s bigger than your fanbase—zero.”
- “Keep talking, maybe you’ll find a point.”
- “Your attitude’s loud, but your game’s quiet.”
- “I’d argue, but I don’t debate with amateurs.”
- “Your shade’s so weak, it needs a gym membership.”
- “Oh, sweetie, your comeback’s on life support.”
- “Your ego’s bolder than your actual skills.”
- “I’d roast you harder, but I’m too classy for that.”
- “Your vibe’s giving ‘trying too hard’ energy.”
- “Keep throwing shade—I’ve got sunglasses.”
- “Your attitude’s louder than a bad karaoke night.”
- “I’d clap back, but I don’t want to embarrass you.”
- “Your shade’s so thin, it’s practically see-through.”
- “Oh, darling, your comeback needs a comeback.”
- “Your ego’s running a race your wit can’t win.”
- “I’d roast you, but you’re already burned out.”
- “Your attitude’s big, but your point’s tiny.”
- “Keep talking—I’ll wait for something worth hearing.”
School-Themed Roasts
- “Your shade’s weaker than a pop quiz answer.”
- “I’d roast you, but your brain’s still in summer school.”
- “Your attitude’s louder than the lunchroom chaos.”
- “Is your ego failing gym class too?”
- “Your comeback’s weaker than a substitute teacher.”
- “I’d argue, but you’re stuck in detention vibes.”
- “Your shade’s so thin, it’s like a hall pass.”
- “Is your personality late for class again?”
- “Your ego’s bigger than the school’s trophy case.”
- “I’d roast you, but you’re already flunking wit.”
- “Your attitude’s louder than the school bell.”
- “Is your brain absent for today’s lesson?”
- “Your shade’s weaker than a cafeteria burger.”
- “I’d clap back, but I don’t debate with dropouts.”
- “Your vibe’s giving ‘left behind in study hall.’”
- “Your comeback’s floppier than a failed science project.”
- “Is your ego skipping class or just lost?”
- “Your shade’s so weak, it’s like a tardy slip.”
- “I’d roast you, but you’re stuck in remedial banter.”
- “Your attitude’s louder than a pep rally gone wrong.”
Tech-Inspired Roasts
- “Your shade’s weaker than a one-bar Wi-Fi signal.”
- “I’d roast you, but your brain’s still buffering.”
- “Your attitude’s giving ‘error 404: wit not found.’”
- “Is your ego running on outdated software?”
- “Your comeback’s floppier than a crashed app.”
- “I’d argue, but you’re stuck in airplane mode.”
- “Your shade’s so thin, it’s like a bad filter.”
- “Is your personality stuck in a reboot loop?”
- “Your ego’s bigger than a server overload.”
- “I’d clap back, but I don’t want to crash your system.”
- “Your vibe’s giving ‘low battery’ energy.”
- “Your shade’s weaker than a dial-up connection.”
- “I’d roast you, but your brain’s in safe mode.”
- “Is your attitude stuck on a loading screen?”
- “Your comeback’s flimsier than a cracked phone screen.”
- “Your ego’s louder than a spam email alert.”
- “I’d argue, but you’re running on 1% logic.”
- “Your shade’s so weak, it needs an update.”
- “Is your personality stuck in a glitch?”
- “Your attitude’s giving ‘connection timed out’ vibes.”
Food-Themed Roasts
- “Your shade’s weaker than decaf coffee.”
- “I’d roast you, but you’re already burnt toast.”
- “Your attitude’s spicier than expired yogurt.”
- “Is your ego soggier than day-old cereal?”
- “Your comeback’s flimsier than a limp fry.”
- “I’d clap back, but you’re blander than plain rice.”
- “Your shade’s weaker than watered-down soda.”
- “Is your personality staler than old bread?”
- “Your ego’s bigger than a buffet line.”
- “I’d roast you, but you’re already overcooked pasta.”
- “Your attitude’s louder than a sizzling pan.”
- “Is your brain as empty as a picked-over pizza?”
- “Your shade’s so thin, it’s like low-fat mayo.”
- “I’d argue, but you’re tasteless as boiled cabbage.”
- “Your vibe’s giving ‘leftovers nobody wants.’”
- “Your comeback’s weaker than a melted popsicle.”
- “Is your ego as bloated as overproofed dough?”
- “Your shade’s so weak, it’s like unsweetened tea.”
- “I’d roast you, but you’re blander than tofu.”
- “Your attitude’s giving ‘spilled milk’ energy.”
Animal-Themed Roasts
- “Your shade’s weaker than a sleepy sloth.”
- “I’d roast you, but you’re already a grumpy cat.”
- “Your attitude’s louder than a barking chihuahua.”
- “Is your ego puffier than a startled porcupine?”
- “Your comeback’s flimsier than a jellyfish.”
- “I’d clap back, but you’re slower than a turtle.”
- “Your shade’s so weak, it’s like a lazy lizard.”
- “Is your personality pricklier than a hedgehog?”
- “Your ego’s bigger than an elephant’s trunk.”
- “I’d roast you, but you’re already a squawking parrot.”
- “Your attitude’s louder than a howling monkey.”
- “Is your brain sleepier than a hibernating bear?”
- “Your shade’s weaker than a timid mouse.”
- “I’d argue, but you’re slippier than an eel.”
- “Your vibe’s giving ‘confused ostrich’ energy.”
- “Your comeback’s floppier than a floppy bunny.”
- “Is your ego as loud as a roaring lion?”
- “Your shade’s so thin, it’s like a shy kitten.”
- “I’d roast you, but you’re already a cranky crab.”
- “Your attitude’s giving ‘peacock with no feathers.’”
Random and Creative Roasts
- “Your shade’s weaker than a paper umbrella.”
- “I’d roast you, but your ego’s already a wildfire.”
- “Your attitude’s louder than a broken fire alarm.”
- “Is your brain stuck in a traffic jam?”
- “Your comeback’s flimsier than a house of cards.”
- “I’d clap back, but you’re out of tune.”
- “Your shade’s so weak, it’s like a damp sparkler.”
- “Is your personality as flat as a pancake?”
- “Your ego’s bigger than a hot air balloon.”
- “I’d roast you, but you’re already a walking meme.”
- “Your attitude’s louder than a foghorn.”
- “Is your brain on a coffee break?”
- “Your shade’s weaker than a broken zipper.”
- “I’d argue, but you’re stuck in slow motion.”
- “Your vibe’s giving ‘lost in a maze’ energy.”
- “Your comeback’s floppier than a bad haircut.”
- “Is your ego as empty as a ghost town?”
- “Your shade’s so thin, it’s like tissue paper.”
- “I’d roast you, but you’re already a hot mess.”
- “Your attitude’s giving ‘broken record’ vibes.”
Final Sharp Roasts
- “Your shade’s weaker than a wet noodle.”
- “I’d roast you, but you’re already a trainwreck.”
- “Your attitude’s louder than a cheap speaker.”
- “Is your ego bigger than a sold-out stadium?”
- “Your comeback’s flimsier than a paper straw.”
- “I’d clap back, but you’re out of rhythm.”
- “Your shade’s so weak, it needs a nap.”
- “Is your personality as dull as a rusty nail?”
- “Your ego’s louder than a marching band.”
- “I’d roast you, but you’re already overdone.”
- “Your attitude’s giving ‘empty gas tank’ vibes.”
- “Is your brain stuck in a time warp?”
- “Your shade’s weaker than a fading glowstick.”
- “I’d argue, but you’re out of ammo.”
- “Your vibe’s giving ‘lost in translation’ energy.”
- “Your comeback’s floppier than a flat tire.”
- “Is your ego as big as a skyscraper?”
- “Your shade’s so thin, it’s like a ghost.”
- “I’d roast you, but you’re already a flop.”
- “Your attitude’s louder than a car alarm.”
- “Is your brain on permanent snooze?”
- “Your shade’s weaker than a cheap umbrella.”
- “I’d clap back, but you’re out of sync.”
- “Your vibe’s giving ‘bad signal’ energy.”
- “Your comeback’s flimsier than a bad joke.”
- “Is your ego bigger than a blockbuster flop?”
- “Your shade’s so weak, it’s like a whisper.”
- “I’d roast you, but you’re already toasted.”
- “Your attitude’s louder than a siren.”
- “Is your personality stuck in a rerun?”
- “Your shade’s weaker than a paper plane.”
- “I’d clap back, but you’re already outclassed.”
Tips for Using These Roasts
Stay Safe
Use roasts in playful, non-threatening situations. If bullying is serious, tell a trusted adult or authority.
Read the Room
Pick light roasts like “Your shade’s weaker than decaf coffee” for casual banter, not heated conflicts.
Keep It Witty
Use clever lines like “Your ego’s writing checks your personality can’t cash” to stay sharp without being mean.
Be Confident
Deliver roasts like “I’d argue, but I don’t speak ‘low battery’” with a smile to show you’re unfazed.
Don’t Escalate
Avoid roasts in tense situations to prevent making things worse.
Use Sparingly
One roast like “Your shade’s so weak, it needs SPF 100” is enough to make your point.
Stay Classy
Choose roasts like “You’re like a bad sequel—nobody asked for a rerun” to keep it fun, not cruel.
Know Your Audience
Use pop culture roasts like “You’re like a Star Wars prequel—nobody’s impressed” with friends who get the reference.
Have a Backup
If they fire back, respond with “Keep talking, maybe you’ll find a point” to stay in control.
Stay Positive
End with a laugh or redirect, like “Alright, let’s keep this chill—what’s your next move?”
Bonus Content for Roasting Bullies
5 Scenarios for Using Roasts
- Playful School Banter: Use “Your shade’s weaker than a cafeteria burger” in a light classroom moment.
- Social Media Shade: Reply “Your comeback’s floppier than a canceled sitcom” to a snarky comment.
- Group Chat Pushback: Drop “Your ego’s bigger than a buffet line” to shut down a bully’s jab.
- Casual Teasing: Try “Is your brain buffering, or is this just your face?” with friends joking around.
- Confident Clapback: Use “Your shade’s so weak, it needs a gym membership” to stand tall.
5 Tips for Delivering Roasts
- Be Confident: Say “Your attitude’s louder than my morning alarm” with a smirk.
- Stay Light: Use “You’re like a bad meme—nobody’s sharing” to keep it fun.
- Time It Right: Drop “Your shade’s weaker than a one-bar signal” when the moment’s playful.
- Use Humor: Go with “Is your ego running on low battery?” for laughs.
- Know When to Stop: One roast like “Your vibe’s giving ‘error 404’” is enough.
5 Example Roasts
- Witty: “I’d roast you, but your brain’s already in safe mode.”
- Sassy: “Oh, honey, your shade’s weaker than my coffee.”
- Pop Culture: “You’re like a TikTok trend—here today, irrelevant tomorrow.”
- Clever: “Your ego’s writing equations your brain can’t solve.”
- Playful: “Your shade’s so weak, it needs training wheels.”
5 Things to Avoid
- Being Cruel: Skip personal attacks; use “Your comeback’s weaker than decaf” instead.
- Escalating Conflict: Don’t roast in heated moments—walk away if it’s serious.
- Overdoing It: One roast like “Your attitude’s louder than a bad karaoke night” is enough.
- Targeting Sensitive Topics: Avoid looks or family; stick to “Your shade’s so thin, it’s see-through.”
- Ignoring Safety: If bullying is physical or severe, get help instead of roasting.
5 Ways to Deliver Roasts
- In Person: Say “Your shade’s weaker than a wet noodle” with a grin.
- Text: Send “Your ego’s bigger than a hot air balloon” for a quick clapback.
- Social Media: Reply “You’re like a bad sequel—nobody asked for this” to a snarky post.
- Group Chat: Drop “Your comeback’s flimsier than a paper straw” for laughs.
- Playful Moment: Use “Is your brain on snooze?” during light banter.
Conclusion
These 252 smart and hilarious roasts are your arsenal for flipping the script on bullies with confidence and humor. From witty one-liners to sassy clapbacks, they’ll help you stand your ground while keeping things light. Use them wisely, stay safe, and let your wit shine!
Frequently Asked Questions
- How do I pick the right roast?
Choose playful ones like “Your shade’s weaker than a one-bar signal” for light moments or clever ones for sharper banter. - When should I use these?
Use in playful, non-threatening situations like school banter or social media shade. - Can I personalize these?
Yes, tweak with emojis or context, like “Your shade’s weaker than my Wi-Fi 😎.” - What if the bully escalates?
Walk away and seek help from an adult or authority—safety first. - How do I deliver these?
Use a confident tone in person, text, or social media, but keep it fun and light.